


High Voltage (Catch Me When I Slip)

by 1Temmie_Official1



Series: ATLA Winter Femslash 2021 [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: 3+1, ATLA Winter Femslash Week 2021, Alternate Universe - Modern with Bending (Avatar), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Jin (Avatar), Childhood Trauma, Domestic Fluff, Dysphoria, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Job Interviews, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Moving In Together, Past Child Abuse, Sign Language, Slice of Life, Trans Azula (Avatar), Useless Lesbian Azula (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28619592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Temmie_Official1/pseuds/1Temmie_Official1
Summary: ATLA Winter Femslash Week!Day 1:Prompt: kissesAzula had always warned Jin that some days she wasn’t going to be okay. Jin helps her every step of the way. 3+1
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Azula/Jin (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: ATLA Winter Femslash 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2097126
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	High Voltage (Catch Me When I Slip)

**Author's Note:**

> So I, Jan 7th 2021, am making this because I realized that ao3 drafts survive a month. Hello, February Eric. Let's see how good or bad things get in February. Sincerely, January Eric.
> 
> Name of the song from Cardiac Arrest by Bad Suns
> 
> Hey January Eric, February Eric here. I am still on the Bad Suns binge.

**1**

Azula was not having a good day.

It was one of those times when the world felt like it was against you. She had already been dealing with her job and her developing relationship with Jin, but today seemed especially bad.

Dysphoria bad.

Azula wasn't the most overly feminine person, nor did she want to be. But sometimes it just felt like too much. She loathed the body she was born in, loathed everything about how she was raised. Her hands. They were too square, each finger was too clunky and large to even pass as female. Her shoulders were so broad, they took up space and Azula hated how she was used to them. Even her arms. Her wrists were clunky, her forearms seemed wrong in a way she couldn't describe. Her chest. It was too flat, her ribs felt like they dwarfed any chance of having a cis woman's chest.

Azula didn't want to be cis, but she felt... wrong. Always so wrong. She wrapped a blanket around herself, putting a pillow to her chest in the hopes that when she removed it, she would somehow have a body that didn't feel so wrong.

And then came the dysphoria thoughts. How she could never have a period, much less bear children. It was suffocating. Even though she was on hormones, it felt horrible. _Most women don't need to have to go on hormones._

Azula squeezed her eyes shut, holding the pillow closer to her chest. Stop thinking.

"Hey, Azula!"

Azula looked up. "Hi, Jin." She hated how her voice sounded. Even with voice training, she still felt like she sounded horribly male. The words rolled around in her head like sharpened stones. Male. Male. Male. It hurt.

Jin frowned. "Are you okay? Do you mind if I sit down with you?"

"Dysphoria." Azula explained. _You can sit._ Azula signed, not in the mood for talking. She tightened her grip on the blanket.

Jin nodded, sitting beside Azula. "I need the practice, I'll sign too," Jin said, signing along. Jin was learning sign language with Azula. Azula had already known quite a bit of sign language from previous knowledge, but it was good to learn it with Jin. _How do you feel?_ Jin signed. Azula sighed.

_Bad._

_You want anything?_ Jin asked, moving closer. 

Azula pondered. _Not now. Maybe later._

Jin smiled. _A kiss?_ She suggested. Azula rolled her eyes.

 _Fine._ Azula smiled.

Jin leaned in and kissed Azula's jaw. "I love you despite how you think your jaw is too sharp. You thought my outfit was too sharp too." Azula snorted at Jin's reference to the disastrous first time Azula tried to flirt.

 _Jerk._ She fingerspelled. 

Jin didn't respond to Azula, instead reaching for one of Azula's hands in a silent question. Azula let her take it. She kissed her hand at the knuckles. "I love you even though you think your hands are too 'manly'. I love your hands too, perfect for holding mine." In between words, she kissed every finger on Azula's hand. Azula filled with warmth. 

Jin turned over Azula's hand, kissing the palm before gently moved along to Azula's wrist. Azula felt her dysphoria spike, it looked wrong, wrong- "I love you although you think your wrists and arms look 'wrong'." Jin kissed Azula's wrist at the pulse point. "I love you." Jin kissed her forearm. She moved to her shoulder. "I love you." She kissed her shoulder. "I love you." Jin was staring at Azula, waiting. Azula was confused, what was she waiting- _oh._

Azula leaned forward, dysphoria washed away in the light and love of her girlfriend. Azula kissed Jin on the lips, short and sweet. "I love you too."

**2**

Azula groaned. It had, ironically, been a good day until that point. Dysphoria hadn't been bad, the weather was nice, and it was a Friday. That meant her week was finally _over_.

Then.

Ozai's voice was in her head, telling her that it was all her fault- _it's all my fault_ \- she should have been better- _not such a failure_ \- that all she needed was- _just that one thing, one thing then I'll be good enough_ -

"Hey, babe." Jin greeted her. Azula blinked back to her surroundings.

"Hey, Jin."

Jin set down her bag, putting her hand on her's. "You okay?"

"No," Azula admitted. It wasn't nice. She hated it. She knew it was just echoes, the voice that she created for him in her own mind. It didn't stop it from feeling real.

Jin hummed. "Did you forget to take your antipsychotics? You were stressed this morning, that could be it." Jin wasn't accusatory, she was only offering a possibility for why she was feeling this way.

Azula shook her head. She had remembered, just before she left she dry-swallowed them. "No, that's not it, it's..." The word caught in her throat. _Ozai_. Her feelings inside her head felt sorted out, but the moment she tried putting them to words it choked her. It had been her strategy to internalize her thoughts for so long, but now that she had gotten therapy and diagnosis, she was getting better. That didn't mean she still had bad days, just as she had good days before.

Jin softened. "Oh, Azula. Can I hug you?"

Azula nodded. Jin immediately wrapped her in a gentle hug. Azula relaxed into her embrace, it gave her something physical to hold on to, to ground her. Jin kissed her cheek.

"Love you," Azula whispered. 

Jin pecked her cheek with a kiss once more. "Love you too."

**3**

**"Holy fuck." Azula said, stunned. She froze, attempting to process the information.**

****

****

Sokka slammed into her from behind. "Hey! Stop standing in the doorway!"

Azula blinked. "Yes."

Zuko, who was helping unpack boxes in the living room, looked up. "Ah, the crisis of 'wow I just moved in with my partner'," He said before removing yet another decoration. Jin laughed.

Sokka maneuvered around Azula, moving the boxes to the floor where they were to be unpacked. "I remember that."

Jin's lips quirked up in a smile. "Really? I thought Zuko would be the one having that crisis."

Sokka and Zuko exchanged a look. "Nah." They both agreed. (Azula later found out that they _both_ had a crisis at different times. Sokka right before they had finished moving in, Zuko directly after. Her brother and future brother-in-law were both idiots.)

Azula put down her box. "When will Aang and Katara be over with the drinks? Can't Aang, you know." She made circular motions with her arms to represent airbending. At least Katara would keep the drinks from spilling.

Sokka shrugged. "I don't know, they're probably making out or something. Oogie."

(They were not making out, in fact, Momo had somehow gotten stuck in Appa's mouth. Then Aang got stuck in Appa's mouth. Azula didn't pay attention to the whole story.)

Azula fidgeted, tapping her foot. This was such a huge step in their relationship, the commitment was huge. Moving in together. Would she end up like her parent's relationship? Jin walked over to her. "I can tell you're thinking pretty hard over there."

"Mm." Azula nodded. Jin took Azula's hand in her's.

"Don't worry." Jin leaned close, pressing their lips together.

With that kiss, Azula knew everything was going to be okay.

**+1**

Jin was pacing.

That was the first thing Azula noticed when she came home. It was like she was wearing a hole in the floor with her walking. "Jin?" Azula asked.

Jin didn't stop. "Hey, honey."

Azula flicked her eyes to the path she was walking. "You're going to wear a hole in our new floor." She joked deadpan. Jin tilted her head back and groaned.

"I had a job interview today, they should be getting back to me soon..." Azula hummed. She had been stressing over the job interview for weeks now. Azula set down her things.

"It's going to be okay." She comforted. "You did great, I'm sure. Worst case scenario, they reject you. But all that really means is that they weren't good enough for you."

Jin paused. "Are you sure?"

Azula gave a knowing smile. "I'm sure."

She sealed her promise with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Azula can have a little sign language, as a treat.
> 
> Little shorter than I would have liked but I hope y'all enjoy!!


End file.
